Get your Claus into this!

December 17th, 2014
Warning! This article and its comments may contain spoilers...

If you hadn’t noticed, it is nearly Christmas, which means only one thing and I am not talking about presents, but it is a treat as it is just about time for the annual Christmas special of Doctor Who. I am sure you are all gagging for some Doctor Who action (Atlantis does its best, but nothing can quite fill the void – apart from Daleks and Cybermen) after the epic finale to Series 8, in which the Master had a sex change, as Missy was short for the Mistress, making her the crazed Time Lord all a long! But we are here to think about Christmas and put Missy in the past, like she is some sort of Charles Dickens ghost.

There have been quite a few good ones and a few not so good ones when it comes to Doctor Who Christmas specials, but it is always hard to follow on from a finale, while attempting to maintain some sort of Christmas spirit. Killer Christmas Trees, Sinister Santas, Bomb Baubles, Terror Toys and Scary Snowmen (however, the scariest snow of all is yellow snow) are exactly what we want from a Christmas special of Doctor Who. My favourite ever Christmas episode has too be the first in this new wave of Doctors, as in 2005, the ninth Doctor became the tenth and Slade some Sycorax (did you see what I did there) with a Satsuma (at least it wasn’t a Terry’s Chocolate Orange, as there would still be segments flying down to Earth). Of course when I talk about Sycorax, I am referring to the alien race and not the character from Shakespeare’s ‘The Tempest’ (but you all knew that anyway), as Sycorax was an unseen character in the play, who was a powerful witch and the mother of Caliban. The fact that the tenth Doctor takes the Satsuma out of the dressing gown shows it is 2005 and not 2014, as if you were in a sword battle with an alien on Christmas Day these days (stop singing Take That), you would take the Satsuma out of the onesie that you would be wearing (and it would most likely be a reindeer onesie).

Santa Claus, also known as Saint Nicholas, Father Christmas, Kris Kringle and simply Nick Frost (Santa has had more names than the Doctor has had faces!), will join forces with Peter Capaldi’s Doctor on the 25th December this year in an episode being called ‘Last Christmas’. This could be in reference to George Michael crashing into a Snappy Snaps in the episode, but is more likely to suggest the departure of someone (possibly Clara) to follow on from the death of Danny Pink. In this episode, Santa lands on Clara’s roof and if Clara is living on a council estate, Clintons might argue Santa has been there the whole time as her neighbour. It is apt that the actor Nick Frost is playing Santa in this adventure, as apart from the look (which by the way is perfect for this role); he has the most appropriate name as Nick Frost is the combination of Saint Nicholas and Jack Frost. However, there seems to be a Frosty relationship between the Doctor and Santa Claus. ‘There’s a long-standing beef’, explains Nick Frost when describing the cold shoulder the Doctor and Santa seem to be giving each other (I thought people fight over the turkey at Christmas, not the beef). The actual ‘beef’ in this episode really gets going when the group of heroes all arrive at an Arctic base near the North Pole, which is under attack from ferocious creatures called Sleepers (not students) and Dream Crabs (I prefer dreams to crabs)!

Santa seems to have the attributes of a Time Lord, as he seems to have the ability to travel in space and time as he gets through all the houses in one night. The Doctor and Santa should compare notes between the TARDIS and Santa’s sleigh. Also, like the Doctor, Santa has companions helping him on the way as Elvis can be seen as the token companion figure the Doctor desires on his travels (the only difference is Santa is not usually seen kissing his Elvis, but might be seen smoking if it is at Lawrence Lllelwyn-Bowen’s Winter Wonderland attempt). One of the Elvis in this episode is portrayed by Dan Starkey (I wonder where we have seen him before? – he gets used more by Moffat than an old Christmas jumper), which is probably because Warwick Davis is too busy in Panto at this time of the year. Also, even though the Doctor doesn’t have a big bushy beard and Santa does, I would have thought Peter Capaldi was becoming accustomed to small, furry creatures, after starring in the Paddington movie as Mr Curry (however, Capaldi will not be returning to The Musketeers as the villain Cardinal Richelieu, as he is a bit busy saving the universe).

Overall, it would not be the same each Christmas without a bit of Doctor Who on the telly a few hours after the Queen’s speech. The Christmas specials have left us with lasting memories and at times the Doctor with lasting lipstick (I wouldn’t mind meeting Clara under the mistletoe, less so Davros!), as who can forget the famous Tennant-Kylie kiss (there is a programme on 10:40pm ITV1 on the 23rd December 2014 called ‘Kylie: Kiss Me Once’, which pretty much describes that episode). But let us not get distracted by the One Direction song (Kiss You), as there are more Killer Christmas Trees than kisses (a weird version of the ‘Annie’ song that is – instead of kisses, we get Killer Christmas Trees, not as catchy, but definitely a hard knock life!) However, there is one final salient point I want to make and that is Doctor Who at Christmas is part of the bill (no, not formally in EastEnders), which means the writers better keep on writing Christmas episodes for the foreseeable future!

Merry Christmas – don’t make it your last, but do make it last!

Written by Richard Lewis

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